carol
Melody: Hello. My 26 year old nephew, Christian was finally diagnosed when Asperger's was put into the DSM. My sister rasised him dealing with each symptom as it came. He was a horrible baby, never slept. My sister June would lie on the floor and tie a string to his crib and rock him all night , sleeping intermitantly. She hAD BLACK AND BLUE MARKS UP AND DOWN HER ARMS FROM HIM BITEING HER . hated to be held. They had to put everything away because he would throw it. Also he never crawled. He rolled LOL One day she could not find him, he had rolled under the curtains. She spent a fortune on plumber bills also, as he enjoyed sticking everything down the sinks. Only in water was he calm---she kept him there until he was a prune. Christian was lucky. He was never hit, or screamed at. He had an amazing vocabulary as a small boy, and my father's friends in Florida would take him out fishing. This is his THING. Fishing. There were a few years 12,13, when he seemed ok. He even had a friend. But then there was an onset of axiety disease,depression, cumpulsive disorder, and he could not sleep. I told my sister to take him to a psychiatrist( I havea great deal of knollege in this area). However she took him to a psycologist (over 50). It took him two years to send him to a psychiatrist. There, he got a lot of help with an anti- depressant and meds to sleep. My nephew graduated from public High School, but was the object of a great deal of cruelty by some of the other children. He is the only person I know who went through H.S. without a notebook. He remembers everthing he hears, reads, or sees--kinda like they are CD roms in his head. He just searches for the information and it comes up. Of course he only reads about his few interests. As a child he dug for worms every day, as a teenager he had snakes. He was a Vet Tech from 15 to 21. He has that extraordinary connection that many asperger's people have with animals. He always has a dog. Unfortunately learning disabilities kept him from going to College. He can barely write, and can not do Math. However his checkbook is perfect-calculator. Asperger's peple seem to choose one person who they trust in life. This has been my sister. For a long time he would not listen to us about social skills. His solution to being picked on was to become a weight lifter. He goes to the gym every day after work-I guess its been about 6 years now. Those years after High School he was a very angry person Eventually it subsided,and he got a job through someone he knew at a Harley store. The perfect place. Take a look at the guys who work there!!!LOL He obsessed on Motorcycles for a long time. They are important to him today, but he says he is bored with his job. He saves all his money for fishing vacations and thousands of dollars of gear. Last year he went to Costa Rica. This year to Christmas Island. He has no trouble being alone. He has long conversations with other fishermen, and has come to know some of the most famous. They ike him. It is quite possoble he will be famous himself one day, because there is a talent in this. I saw it when he was 12 years old on a fishing boat the whole family went on. I taught him to look at people when they came in the house and say hello. In time he learned how to mimic by himself. I watched someone hug him once and his arms just hung there. I said Christian you have to hug people back.."why" because they'll think you don't like them. "oh, but I don't want to touch them" well you have to. So we practiced with his mother, and then me. If you meet him you won't think there is anything different about him. It takes a while now to think there is something odd. Christian will open a tour fishing business. Then perhaps his lonliness won't be as bad. Basically because he will be around many people who love the same thing. Now his friends go out with there girlfriends and he is often left. He, at this point is unable to deal with or understand that type of emotion. He takes a great deal of tranquilizer to sleep. Now we are looking for another person in the field to change that, and see how much more if anything he can feel. Lonliness has always been present in his life. The only time he is emotionally, "normal" is when we watch something like a George Carlin tape. His smiles and laugh are real. That is when I get a glimpse of Christian. He and his brother were forever playing practical jokes on each other. When Chris was finally diagnosed he didn't like it, and said he wished he could be like other people. then he would say he was from Planet Asperger, and they sent him messages. Chris spent a great deal of time with my father,who is not well. Chris can't go to see him. This is upsetting him. He loves his grandpa. It appears he has the large emotions. Now, I don't know what he feels and neither does my sister. It is very difficult to tell. My sister had no help. There was no DSM classification until he was 23. We don't think there are too many children who lived to adulthood. Many could be in jail. Now there is help only for children. There is so much research in this area. Some has had success in increasing emotions. Your child is young. You have a good chance of benefiting from a new treatment. My advice is treat everything you can as it apears, and never stop loving him, or touching him. The psychiatric drugs will help enourmously for OCD, and depression, anxiety, etc. Don't put him in a public school situation where he can be bullied. Christian found friends through his obsessions. I don't know what your son is into. perhaps he will be lucky and obsess on something he can work at.