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                        I am a mental health counselor by profession.  ADHD is usually not diagnosed until a child is age 7.  Children under this age may exhibit symptoms that suggest ADHD that could also be a reaction to factors such as stress, family structure, or simply being overactive.  With your husband gone, and coping with other health impaired children alone, I would suggest that you talk with your pediatrician and locate a good family counselor.  This counselor could help you assess your ADHD child and offer guidance and support for you and your family situation.