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Incontinence is very common during menopause, The loss in estrogen can add to atrophy of the pelvic muscles and if you ever had children, the problem is magnified. I can't explain the night problems. I would like to know more about your pelvic history--surgeries, pregnancies, types of deliveries. Physical therapists who specialize in this treatment can help you. If you have any other specific questions, please ask.