Stephanie
My father and my husband are both alcoholics. The difference, my husband is a recovering alcoholic. As a codependent I went through lots of counseling, starting in AlaTeen eventually to Alanon for a while. The best help I received was in individual counseling where I could take my own unique situating and work on that. I went though my counseling prior to meeting my husband. Obviously I still had a lot to learn about myself because I still married an alcoholic after growing up with one. I had learned how to stand up for my self and eventually my entire family gave my father an ultimatum. He chose alcohol, not us. It was difficult. Still is. When I met my husband though, I was so desperate to replace what I lost, I replaced it with what I no longer wanted. More alchol. This time in the shape of a husband. After more counseling and a few more years of growing up and having children of my own I was able to see how my codependency was hurting my whole family as much as the alcohol was. I gave my husband an ultimatum. He chose to run away, but not before hitting his "bottom." When we finally reconsiled I don't know if it was my ultimatum that pushed him to his bottom or what, but he and I both went to an alcohol program through our insurance company and we are still learning to change and cope every day. He will be 3 years sober this fall. It takes strength not only from the alocoholic, but also from the family as well. They could just as easily be codependent or an enabler. Family needs help as well as the alcoholic does.