Mindy Johnson
Hi- I know you posted this message a few months back, but I just ran across it. I just wanted to let you know that I had a daughter who was painfully quiet in school at that age too. She was very bright but the teachers were very concerned that she rarely spoke. This continued for a few more years with the same comments from the school. Becca, as well, was fine at home. She talked all the time. She couldn't explain to me why she didn't want to speak at school. I was concerned as you are, mostly that this was some sort of serious psychological problem, disorder, or something. I did understand, though, that I had been very shy at school myself when I was young. I didn't really grow out of it till I was older. I wasn't quite as shy or quiet as Becca was, but school was very difficult for me. I was afraid she would never open up, but Becca started to blossom in fourth grade. She actually tried out for the school play and everything. I am convinced that in a sense, not making too much of it, was the best way to go for us. Instead of making her feel bad about it, I just tried to work with it, letting her know that everyone was different, and that it was OK. She is now a very confident 13 year old and continues to do well in all ways. If your daughter seems happy and healthy in general, it is probably just a social shyness that will get better with time. You know her the best, so if you get one of those teachers who starts to push those "mom panic buttons" I would advise you step back and look at the overall situation. If your child develops a fear of going to school in general, that becomes a more serious challenge. The most important thing in my opinion, is to make her feel comfortable at school, even if she isn't speaking, so that it is an accepting and safe place to be. Eventually she too will probably grow out of it. Good luck to you. Hope you are making some progress with the situation. Take care, Mindy