Rick
Hi, I grew up in a home with an alcoholic father. Today, thanks to my dad finally realizing he had a problem, he has been clean and sober for about 10 years. Now, I have a great relationship with a great man! The only way this was able to come about was by his own realization that he had a problem. No one else could convince him of that. It was not until my mom, brothers, and myself no longer had wanted anything to do with him, and he was alone that he decided he needed to turn his life around. Hitting "rock bottom" as they call it, often leaves such individuals to turn their lives around. He went to AA as long as he needed to (he no longer goes, nor does he need to, he has his family back to support him). For this to happen, you must decide for yourself what is the most important thing for you. You could consider an intervention, if you can get enough other people in his life to be involved and confront him together as a group, or you can decide to leave and let him figure things out on his own. I would only do one of these two things after you have tried to have a conversation with him about how serious you are about the issue. (If you do talk with him, approach such a conversation sensitively, do not make him wrong. If you do make him wrong, he will not listen.) If such a conversation does not make a difference, then you have to decide what is best for you. It might be helpful to think of it like this, you have no control over other people, but you do have control over yourself. So, if you can't work things out with him, leave and let him work things out on his own. Only he can address this issue, but he has to admit that there is an issue first. Your leaving might have him realize that there really is a problem. Anyway, I wish you the best...Believe it or not, I understand what you are going through. Take Care, Rick